February Horoscope: what do the stars hold for you?
Consult your horoscope to find out what your Valentine’s Day will bring.
Aries (March 21-April 19): You might be looking for love this Valentine’s Day, but remember love comes in many forms, some flashy, some quiet and comfortable. That Tinder date might not call you back, but Oreos will love you forever.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): A stranger will come into your life, bearing joy and peace in their wake. Remember to tip the Skip the Dishes driver. They’ve earned it.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Love can be one of the scariest things a person can experience. True crime documentaries at 2am are a close second, but either way, you will lose some sleep.
Cancer (June 21-July 20): New sights, new sounds, fine cuisine. Travel provides so many opportunities. And the 7-11 down the street has new taquitos!
Leo (July 21-Aug. 20): Your outgoing energy will draw people toward you this Valentine’s Day. Maybe go easy on the karaoke. Nobody wants to hear “What’s New Pussycat” that many times.
Virgo (Aug. 21-Sept. 20): Heartbreak awaits you in your horoscope, and you will be inconsolable. Be careful in the future to avoid this and don’t spill your beer.
Libra (Sept. 21-Oct. 20): Valentine’s Day can feel isolating, so spend it with the people who mean the most to you. Most of your World of Warcraft friends won’t have dates anyway.
Scorpio (Oct. 21-Nov. 22): Candlelight will fill your home on Valentine’s night. Guess they really meant it when they said they’d turn off your electricity. Next time, pay the bill.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21): Always willing to help out a friend, make sure to heed the signals this Valentine’s Day. Don’t ignore the sock on the doorknob. You, your roommate, and their guest will regret it.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 21): Work is front and centre on your mind during the season of love and taking an extra shift will bring you satisfaction. Not as much satisfaction as smooches with your partner, but hey, getting paid is better than getting laid.
Aquarius (Jan. 22-Feb. 19): Don’t take anything at face value if you’re on a date this Valentine’s Day. Check the drive-thru order before you pull out!
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Keep a close eye on your surroundings. You never know who you’re going to meet. Turning corners may become treacherous though, if you don’t watch out for light posts. Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone saw that.