Love me Tinder, match me online
Let’s be real here – dating in 2018 is tough, and honestly, pretty awful most of the time.
Chances are if you didn’t meet your significant other in the pre-Tinder era, you’ve had to roll the dice and meet someone in a non-conventional way.
Gone are the days when someone will randomly strike up a conversation with you at a coffee house or bookstore and ask you out.
Instead, dating has turned into one more thing that’s gotten less and less personal.
“I think you get two types of guys with modern day dating, especially on apps,” said dating pessimist Kim Nguyen, who recently ended a five-year-long on and off relationship.
“You get guys who are really invested in relationships, almost to the point that it’s aggressive, or you get the guys who are very much not ready for commitment; bad break up, emotional baggage, work life balance or just plain hooking up.”
So the real question is, where are all the “normal” guys hiding?
Y’know, the guys that just want to get to know you before trying to get you into bed or put a ring on your finger?
“Dating is just the latest thing to be millenialized,” said Adam Clark, who claims to never make a girl pay on a date, and who went through his last break up three months ago.
“That instant gratification, literally and figuratively. Dating apps. Casual sex.”
While it’s easier to get someone to show up on your doorstep for a late-night booty call, it’s a lot harder to find something real.
“It’s all very unromantic but very modern,” said Clark.
Instead of getting to know someone before deciding yay or nay, we now decide the fate of our potential partners based on their looks more than ever, with just a finger swipe sealing someone’s fate.
This is just another way for us to hide behind a screen, away from real life and real human interaction.
Don’t get me wrong, it can be entertaining and even addicting to have so many
people at your fingertips, but is it the way to find real and lasting love?
“When I run into men who I have had many conversations with over text, or Tinder, or Bumble, they’re shy to approach you in real life unless on a scheduled date,” said Nguyen.
Earlier this month, a new dating app called LegalFling made its way into the headlines, with the new feature of creating legally binding contracts over consensual sex, the exchange of risqué photos and withholding knowledge of STIs.
The website for the app claims that these “agreements” will hold up in court. And don’t worry about feeling awkward, instead of talking to the person that’s probably directly across the table from you at dinner, you can send them a text request for consent.
In case that doesn’t work out, the app can also connect you with professional help and take a statement if someone breaches his or her consent contract with you.
The app has yet to launch, but the creators are hoping to have it in the Google Play Store and App Store by the end of the month.
Are we so far gone that we can’t just ask one another if we’re interested in having sex, or just feel out how the night is going?
And do we have such little respect for each other that “revenge porn” is an actual option after a bad break up?
With so many accusations of sexual assault and harassment, coupled with the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, you would think that would encourage everyone to be more straightforward with what they want and what’s acceptable.
But in a way, it’s created this alienation and fear of interaction with the opposite sex.
As for chivalry, I think its safe to say we’re one more weird dating app away from putting the final nail in its coffin.
“The convenience just makes it so much easier to shy away from putting in effort or investing real emotions into people,” said Nguyen.
So if you’re looking to find a basic hook up, the Tinder and Bumble spheres are great; but if you’re looking for something more meaningful, you might just have to get out there and talk to someone.