Parking is hard?

Is parking really that hard? Just like colouring, parking in the lines just takes some practice and patience.  -Mikaela MacKenzie, THE WEAL

Is parking really that hard? Just like colouring, parking in the lines just takes some practice and patience. -Mikaela MacKenzie, THE WEAL

We’ve all been there. The parking lot is full, and it’s a race against the other four people circling the aisles to find an available space. And then there it is: that guy who decided that his Jetta needed to take up three spaces at an odd angle that warrants the most epic of all slow claps.

Or the older woman, alone in her car and clearly free from any physical limitations, who pulls into the space “reserved for pregnant women and parents with small children,” and then slinks into the store hoping to go unnoticed.

Oh, we see you.

It shouldn’t be difficult to park between the lines of a stall or read “no parking” or “reserved” signs in front of spaces, but it seems to be a confusing and challenging task for some.

Parking blunders, while frustrating for others, are usually laughable offences and ultimately rather harmless (unless you’re stuck in your space because someone decided to park at such an angle that maneuvering your vehicle is virtually impossible without hitting something).

That’s why there is a Twitter handle called @DBagParkingYYC, where Calgarians post photos to publically shame bad parkers all over the city. Scrolling through the page is good for a laugh, but also begs the question: how are people so bad at parking?

The answer is simple. It is not so much a matter of being skilled at parking as it is thinking about the world outside one’s personal scope.

Essentially, the social trend toward self-importance has wormed its way into parking habits. People are so involved in their own daily business, their own to-dos and schedules, that they are completely ignorant when it comes to parking their vehicles outside of Walmart while they run in with their shopping lists.

It’s no surprise that fellow drivers are taking up arms against these offenders. Not only are they shamed on social media, but some have taken to serving up a little poetic justice of their own.

Viralnova posted a list of 19 photos of passive-aggressive and entertaining messages people had left for discourteous parkers in the form of notes and even a carved potato-army ready to take vengeance.

One upset individual went so far as to spread an entire tub of peanut butter over someone’s windshield and write in the sticky mess, “Less expensive than having it towed.”

If everyone took the time to notice their surroundings and consider others, there would be fewer bad parking jobs in our busy neighbourhoods and shopping centres. It only takes a few extra seconds to straighten a car rather than leave it at an impossible angle.

It’s like colouring in the lines back in kindergarten. If you take your time, it comes naturally and the result is a beautiful, fridge-worthy piece of art.

If you hastily scribble, the page is destined to end up in the recycling bin.

Or worse yet – to be obliterated with peanut butter and displayed for the world to see.

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