Sexual SOS: Love Gurus to the rescue

Dear Love Gurus,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a while and I really love her. Sex is great and she always wears the sexiest bras and underwear to bed. I appreciate her effort to look good for me, and I want to return the favour. Our one-year anniversary is coming up and I am wondering if there is a sexy underwear option for guys. Do girls like skimpy briefs? My body’s OK, but not amazing.  I saw some mesh and pleather stuff at a sex shop once, but I don’t know if she’d like it.
Banana Hammock

Dear BH,
Men’s underpants are tricky because, ultimately, every woman has a different idea about what looks sexy on her man. The best tip to buying sexy manties is to choose a pair that flatters your body and makes you feel hot. Confidence is key in the bedroom, so if you go with a pair of skimpy briefs and believe you look great in them, she will likely think so too.
Our personal favourite apparel for a near-nude male are short, tight trunks. They’re snug enough to deliver some main package information, but not so tight that your circumcision history can be determined at a glance.
As for the mesh thong, tread lightly. A man wearing kinky underwear is an acquired taste, and might bring about more laughter than lust. Who knows, your lady might be down with crotchless BVDs, but to avoid embarrassment, bring her to help you choose a pair she likes as well. While you’re at it, pick up something matching for her and commit to a night of kinky pleasure.

Dear Love Gurus,
My boyfriend and I met on Plenty of Fish about a year ago. We chatted a bunch and met in person after about a week. We hit it off and I moved into his apartment two months later. The first few months were awesome, until one day I went on the computer and saw he had left his Plenty of Fish account open and his profile was still active. He told me he just ‘forgot’ to cancel it, but I saw that he’d been on it as recently as 4 days ago. What should I do? Is he technically ‘cheating’ by still having an active profile? Am I being too suspicious?
Gal with Overly
Friendly Fisherman

Dear Fish in the Sea,
This all seems to point to the conclusion that your man isn’t ready to fully commit to you. Having moved into together after only two months of dating, he may be feeling things are moving too quickly so he wants to explore and keep his options open. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship isn’t something to salvage. Sit down with your man and ask him what he thinks of your relationship and what he thinks could be different to improve it. Having an open flow of communication is vital and healthy for any relationship and might be just what he needs to close his online account and focus his attention commit to you 100 per cent. If, after having a talk with him, he continues to fish online, then there is a major problem because he has ignored your concerns and feelings. If he is in a happy and committed relationship, he shouldn’t be on an online dating site.

Dear Love Gurus,
I’ve been with my man for two years now, and I want a damn ring. We live together, and we have a dog together. I’m 22 years old and our families have met and keep in contact with each other. I’ve started dropping ring hints since about a year ago. Why the hell hasn’t he proposed, and what can I do to speed things up?
If He Likes It, Then Shouldn’t He Put a Ring On It

Dear Beyoncé,
Why the race to put a ring on it? Are you competing with some other woman to see who gets their bling first? Or is there some sort of code you’re following that says you must be married by a certain time or you’ll self-destruct?
Let’s break it down for you. You’re in a loving, happy relationship. You’ve committed to each other by sharing a house together, which is no easy feat. You’ve managed to stay together for two years already, which in today’s love scene is a helluva lot longer than Britney Spears can manage. The way I see it, you’re practically already married. How about enjoying it? If it’s really meant to be, he’ll realize how awesome you are, and he’ll ask you naturally and spontaneously, when you’re both ready for it.

Dear Love Gurus,
How do I ask my girlfriend of a year to stimulate me anally? I’m a straight guy, but ever since I figured out while masturbating that anal play really amps up my orgasm, I’d love to get my girl on board. How do I not freak the shit out of her (figuratively speaking, of course?)
A True Assman

Dear ATA,
I think communication is going to be the key here. If she is really into you, which I’m assuming after a year she is, she is going to want to know what makes you feel good. So go ahead and tell her! If both of you are comfortable in the sack, try giving her a little bit of guidance as to what you are looking for. It might ease the tension a bit to ask her what she wants to try that you guys haven’t ventured to test out yet. A warning, she may not react as positively as you hope depending on how open-minded she is, so it might have to stay a solo act.

Dear Love Gurus,
My girlfriend and I have been together for five years, and I can count on both hands the amount of times she has given me oral sex. When she does it’s great. But she says that ever since a guy ejaculated on her face without asking when she was 16, she finds the act uncomfortable. I perform oral sex on her all the time and it’s getting a little bit lame not to be on the receiving end.
Debbie Doesn’t Do Dallas

Dear Quadruple Ds,
The evil and immediate advice I have is don’t go down on her until she agrees to up the ante and return the favour. But the more logical, and less likely to earn you a slap in the face answer, is to reassure her that you love her and would never disrespect her the way that guy did.
You need to find a way to convince her that oral sex is an extension of your  already loving and trusting relationship, and try to change her feelings that blowjobs are somehow ‘dirty’.
Another tip, why not try the classic “69” to ease her into it? If she somehow feels degraded by fellatio, I bet if you are both actively involved, it may be a more pleasurable experience. for her.

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